Guilt. That awful, knots-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach, heaviness in your chest type of feeling. No one wants to “feel guilty” which is usually why we stuff it. Can anyone identify with “mother’s guilt? Or have you ever enabled someone out of guilt, saying yes, when you probably shouldn’t have?
Whenever I have a live workshop and I am not sure what topic to choose for the group tapping session I always pick the topic of guilt as it relates to setting a boundary. Because most of the agencies I work with are social workers, counselors, teachers, and caseworkers, 95% of the population I work with are female. I swear females are born with a gene to feel guilty for setting boundaries.
Don’t believe me? Start Tapping on any Tapping point and finish this sentence, outloud, while continuing Tapping:
“I can’t set a boundary because if I do then…”
Drum roll ….
“I feel guilty”
Sometimes out of guilt we don’t tell our children no. It’s super hard to say no to our parents. How about your boss? Church group? A charity you believe in? … Where else are you the “I can do it , no problem. I got it.” person? We have to give until we’re empty because we don’t want to feel the guilt.
Write this down – Feelings Won’t Kill You.
However, being stressed out and giving in to everybody can kill you.
Stress kills. – Guilty feelings do not.
Think about it.
How often do you go through superhuman gyrations to avoid this guilty feeling?
You stretch yourself thin and either do something you really don’t want to do or allow something that you really shouldn’t.
“Sure honey, you can move back home with your dog.”
“Sure I’ll give you x amount of dollars to pay your rent.”
“Of course Pastor, I will help with …. even though I just had knee surgery and my spouse is sick, and I am babysitting my new grandbaby”
— Good God, how can you say no to the Pastor?!
And then it takes a Herculean effort to keep your mouth shut and to stuff your true feelings down deep into your gut. –And don’t forget to smile!! 🙂
Feelings don’t kill: An ulcer, heart attack and immune diseases can lead to some serious health problems and even death. Saying no can save your life and allow the other person the dignity and personal growth to figure it out.
Yes, setting boundaries is difficult. Sometimes, even when you say “no” things work out for the other person. However, I also know what it feels like to not rescue a person knowing serious harm could come to them. There was even a time by not giving in, I probably caused a person to decline more quickly. I didn’t do it lightly, and it took me many years to actually say “no”. I could never have done it without Tapping.
Let’s go back to the beginning of this blog. Where do you feel guilt and anxiety? In the pit of your stomach. So You need a body technique to release the guilt.
Living guilt free is possible. I used Tapping to address this feeling. I can’t give you all that you need in this blog but I did create a Tapping Script for you to begin the process. I am also creating a call series to work on guilt so keep an eye out or email me and I will keep you posted.
You can’t lower guilt and take care of yourself if you don’t believe at the core of your being that you DESERVE to be honored.